So sometimes I wonder why I even keep a blog, as I post rarely and few read it. But occasionally I feel the urge to write something, or post something, and so here stands my blog. Maybe it just makes me feel important, having "my" page on the internet? I don't know.

Much has happened since last I posted, but little of it is material for the public eye - sorry. Suffice it to say, this past semester has had both some of the best and worst moments of my entire life; times of great joy and peace, times of incredible pain and suffering. Through it all though God has been faithful, and it is evident to me that he's been using it all - the joy and the sorrow - to grow me in faith and trust. I can say with complete confidence that without prayer and without God's steadfastness I would not have made it through these times with any sort of emotional and mental wholeness. He is good.

I'm home now for the summer, and have spent this week sleeping in (noon every day? yikes!), settling back into home life, reading YA fluff just because I can, and doing some gardening and sewing. I varnished the picnic table and made myself a blouse -- and filled out more job applications than I ever wanted to look at. Unfortunately, that task is not done yet - Monday morning I'll be out bright and early, canvassing the neighbourhood - or rather downtown - for anyone, anywhere, who might be looking to hire an eager, capable 20-year-old willing to learn to do practically anything!

The other thing I'm doing this summer is consciously and deliberately weeding out and disposing of things I no longer need; organising those I do keep; and in general clearing out. As an aid to that general endeavour, I've made myself a promise: I'm not to buy any new fabric or yarn *at least* until I have completed every single UFO I possess. (UFO in craft-speak = UnFinished Object.) I'm photographing the results as a way of encouraging myself, and many of them will probably make appearances on this blog, so keep an eye out for photos!

I might, if I feel led, also do book reviews. More on that if I have time and inclination!

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... the courage to change the things I can... and the wisdom to know the difference."

A dear, dear friend quoted this at me last week when I desperately needed to hear it. It's been running through my head ever since... so imagine my delight when I found this link! Such a lovely piece of jewelry, and featuring the very quote I've been thinking on for weeks. Anyway, Grosgrain is doing a giveaway of a $20 gift card to Cinnamon Sticks' shop - which, if I should happen to win, I already have a piece picked out :) Go here to see Kathleen's blog at Grosgrain, and check out Cinnamon Sticks' too - her things are beautiful!

So the power has been out since yesterday in the wee hours. Yes, the power is out. Which means no water, no internet, no lights, but, mainly, no heat. This is Michigan. In December.

Yep, it's cold.

We're kind of living at the library right now, for the heat, internet, and flushing toilets. I hope they don't get sick of us.

Oh, yeah - they say it likely won't be fixed until Wednesday midnight. Joy of joys.

~~~~

Post a comment here and, I will reply with:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to eat with you. = (weird question? I think so!)
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. (if possible. If not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you should really post this on yours!

So I don't post enough....

I'm home (in MI) for the Christmas holidays and enjoyed a wonderful white Christmas this past week! It's warm and raining now, though the temperature is supposed to drop below freezing again tomorrow.

I'm spending my time at home reading C.S.Lewis and sewing Regency dresses. Fun stuff :) I'll be back at Union for Jan-term - I'm taking algebra (yuck!) and Literature of the Middle Ages (yum!)

I am thankful for life and breath.
I am thankful for my God who is all-powerful, who is in control, who loves me.
I am thankful for friends who will remind me of that; for friends to laugh with, to cry with.
For friends who will have 5-hour conversations with me and sit up half the night talking about important things. For the friend who has been instrumental in turning my trust back to God (Thank you!).
For good food and warm houses and clothing and computers.
For the ability to be at school.
For my parents who raised me and love me.
For my siblings, even if we do fight sometimes.
For the one who makes me laugh, calms me when I'm distressed, makes me less homesick, is always there for me.
For the gift of life and love, I am especially thankful.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow!

Packing for college ought to be fairly easy, no? Especially the second year, when you know what to expect and what you'll need, right?

Wrong...

... at least when you have to completely tear apart, clean, and de-stash your bedroom before you can even start packing...

This is turning into such a huge project, and I only have one more day to do it in. And I NEED to be packed by tomorrow evening - there's no negotiation. I'm starting to get discouraged here....

In church yesterday we did a question from the Heidelberg Catechism as a responsive reading, and for some reason it really moved and convicted me, so I thought I'd share it....


How are you right with God?

Only by true faith in Jesus Christ.
Even though my conscience accuses me of having grievously sinned against all God's commandments and of never having kept any of them, and even though I am still inclined toward all evil, nevertheless, without my deserving it at all, out of sheer grace, God grants and credits to me the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ,
as if I had never sinned nor been a sinner,
as if I had been as perfectly obedient as Christ was obedient for me.

All I need to do is to accept this gift of God with a believing heart.

~

This made me think... so often we feel that we "deserve" good things, that life or God or whoever is being unfair because we don't get what we want immediately, or because bad things happen to us. But really we don't deserve anything except hellfire and brimstone and the wrath of God. So is it really such a bad thing to trade eternal damnation for a life (temporarily) without true love or lots of money or the perfect body, or whatever it is we long for? I know I complain as much as the rest of us, but this really convicted me. I'm terribly selfish to expect anything more than God has already graciously given me. It's probably rude. I know it's self-centred and unreasonable.

So anyway, I've been mulling this over since yesterday, and thought I might share it. (Grrrr... I can *write* this sort of thing, but I am terrible at conclusions! And I don't want to preach.) Basically, think about this... :D

Today is the first day of school for my younger siblings, so I borrowed a tradition from the Betsy-Tacy series and made muffins. Blueberry muffins.

They were good.

They would have been even better if they hadn't been slightly burnt (not my fault!) and extremely attached to their paper cups. They couldn't bear to part company, but had to be pried from the depths. (David said he should set up a muffin excavation company.) But in spite of all that they tasted good.

~

I realised yesterday that our family has very few real traditions. Sure, we have some things - same decorations on the Christmas tree, same Thanksgiving dinner, certain recipes we use a lot or dishes that we always eat together - but we don't have many day-to-day traditions.

I think this is partly because we never have had much consistency in our lives - I've moved five times, my parents and older brother even more. We haven't grown up in the same place with the same people and the same back yard forever. But things like muffins on the first day of school, or having a holiday on the day of the first snow, just have never gotten started in our family.

Maybe this is all right. Certainly we've survived without them. But families who do have such traditions always seem to have so much fun. Books, like the Betsy-Tacy series, which are full of them always leave me feeling a little wistful. I think unconsciously I've missed the little traditions, the yearly or weekly or daily routines and rituals, and when I read about them or see them I get a little pang of - longing? Almost a homesickness, for a kind of home I've never had.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm complaining. My family is great! But I think when I have a home and a family of my own, I want to be careful to start some rituals, some traditions, some of those things you look at and say "but we always do this!" I want to be careful to perpetuate traditions that my (hypothetical) husband's family had, and to start new ones of my own.

I think of myself as an adventurer, always ready to try something new, not tied to schedules and regulations. But I think deep down I am (and probably most of us are) a creature of habit. The traditions make me feel safe, accepted, as though I'm where I belong. Traditions, after all, have survived for a reason.

Some of the results of yesterday's canning, posing in front of the marigolds - raspberry jam!




And my favourite morning-glory ever. I love how the focus makes this photo look a little like a painting.

I would also like to point out that putting 10 quarts of applesauce through the food mill is incredibly good exercise for the upper arm!

So in the last week I've finished both "North and South" and "Breaking Dawn". Guess which one was better?

This morning we had the most interesting and unexpected pair of visitors! I was still asleep when Mum came to get me and said there was something I needed to see. I stumbled out of bed and down to the basement, where I looked out of the window and saw this:



Yes, there was a pair of peacocks under our deck! They hung around for a while....



...decided they would check out the woods...



...and eventually headed off into the neighbours' yard, bound for home.

It's raining. I love rain...

I stayed up late last night watching Amadeus. Good movie... not one to watch with young children, and you might want to warn your mixed company of a couple slightly... ahem... *interesting* scenes... but it was excellently acted. (And it wasn't that bad... I watched it with my parents and wasn't uncomfortable.) And of course the music was divine... it had to be, it was all Mozart.

I've been doing a lot of sewing lately, but little of it the costumes I need to have done in 3 weeks... I really need to get started on those.

Did I mention I love rain? :D

So last week I acquired a job. I'm working at Dolly's Pizza in Hartland, making pizzas and salads, answering phones, taking orders, and generally doing whatever needs done. It's not a glamourous job by any stretch of the imagination, but it IS a job! And after turning in probably 15 applications, it was refreshingly easy... a friend of a friend said his cousin needed help at his pizza place, and was I interested? I was, of course, so I turned up and filled out an application which the owner didn't even look at before putting me to work. :D

So much for the job... now for the rant. I went to get my driving permit replaced last Friday so that I could take my road test and get my license. (The testing service said they would waive the "required" 30-day driving period since I'd had a permit for a year already.) Well, I got that done, with much hassle since I had forgotten I needed proof of Michigan residence. (The last time I went in, I took ALL the ID they required and they didn't even LOOK at any of it. So I wasn't too careful to make sure I had a bank statement or something similarly official with me.)

This morning I took my road test, which I passed easily, and we headed over to get my license. Before I went in I checked through my handbag to make sure that all my ID was still there - I had carefully included an official envelope with my address on it this time. Passport - check. School ID card - check. Proof of residence - check. Social Security card? Missing.

Needless to say, I panicked. I searched through my handbag, my wallet, the floor of the car.... I had had the thing on Friday, I knew it, and I hadn't touched the bag since. It was completely gone. Well, we figured it was at home, and continued on to the grocery store and then home. Which I proceeded to tear apart in my search for the card. Finally I called the Secretary of State office... got put on hold... talked to someone real at last (whoever invented automated telephone programs should be taken out and SHOT!!!)... got put on hold again... and was finally told that yes, they had found my SS card at the SoS office (does anyone else find that abbreviation somewhat ironic?) - and they had MAILED IT TO ME yesterday.

Why? Why the postal system? If they could find my home address, they certainly could find my phone number. Could they not at least have called me to tell me they had found the card? Had they called yesterday, which is when they mailed it, I could have PICKED IT UP when I went to get my license today. Problem solved, all correct! Instead of which they put it in the mail, which means I won't get it until tomorrow at the earliest, so I can't get my license until tomorrow at the earliest - quite possibly it won't arrive until Friday, at which point I think the SoS office is closed because of the holiday - and I need my license tomorrow afternoon. Because I'm working and dog-sitting all weekend and really didn't want to make my parents ferry me all over the county. Blast them, why couldn't they make a thirty-second phone call?

I do apologise for all the capital letters and annoyance in this post. But oh, I'm mad....

I can't remember if I promised to post photos of my ball gown or not, but I know I talked about it... so here are some pics!







Yes, I am wearing a corset.

My dad takes wonderful photos :)

Bonus picture: Kate's new Romantic era dress! Green and white gingham, white piping, and eventually white buttons... she got sewed into it for the piano recital on Monday!



It's a little big right now, but she's growing fast so that won't last long.

Off to watch Bend it Like Beckham with the family and later do some more sewing...

Katie made dinner tonight... it was very good. We had fun naming the casserole, though; she had used a recipe called "New Potatoes and Peas", but we had no peas so she used green beans instead, and the potatoes were not "new" (small, young) but huge old Idahoes. So Daddy said it should be called "Old Potatoes and Beans" instead. I think the name stuck :D

Yesterday I received a stack of fabric and patterns to make costumes for Swamp Opera! I'm doing my mum's for "Mrs Goose", a tail coat and vest for "Poncho" (a Latino frog), and a vest for "Uncle Rat". The dress for Mum is an original 1930s pattern in a pretty black-on-white calico; Caleb's coat is dark green velvet and his vest is green-and-gold brocade, and Uncle's vest is red satiny brocade. I'm so excited to be working with pretty fabrics... and scared to death lest I mess something up! I have until the middle of August till they *need* to be finished, so I should be fine - I'll just go slowly and make sure I read the directions!

Not much else is new -- I'm still searching for a job. Called a lady today in answer to an ad in the paper about babysitting, but I had to leave a message and I haven't heard back yet... I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I hate being unemployed... Mum says I should make my job this summer be to revise, edit, and get my novel published. Now there's an idea.... maybe I should! But oh, I hate revising...

Not having a job does leave more time for playing the piano. And sewing. So I guess it has its plusses, too.

Have to go get my driving permit renewed (again...) so I can take the test and get my license. I waited too long to call about scheduling the test and the permit expired. Sigh. But they said they'd waive the 30-day driving period, so I can take the test immediately after renewing my permit.

I think I've run out of things that anyone else will want to read about - and probably have already written about some that they won't. I'm also not sure that sentence made any sense. So I'm stopping now!

oooh, that was bad. I'm sorry.

I spent most of today sewing - the dress is almost finished! It needs hooks and eyes, a hem, trim sewed on, and the bow on the back - and calling up the places I applied to. Most of them said they'd call back when they'd looked at the application... so more waiting.

My back muscles have been trying to slack off all day; they're sore and tired and all they want to do is slouch around and not move. Unfortunately for them I spent most of the afternoon wearing my corset, which among other things prohibits bad posture! So the muscles were forced to sit up and behave themselves.

I really should be in bed... I'm exhausted. I need a bath though.

Found Deathly Hallows last night, also began, for the umpty-seventh time, Have His Carcase. (Which when I was younger I always thought referred to some sort of luggage. Yes, I was deluded :P )

Two of my tomato plants are dying for no apparent reason, and the aphids are making lace out of the leaves of the rose-bush. On the other hand the irises are flourishing, putting on a beautiful show in the front yard. I do love irises. I cut some and brought them in today, and the brighten up the house immensely, filling it with colour and a rich, intense scent.

Oh dear. My writing is becoming rather too florid. I'm going to bed :)

I went to a friend's house after church today, and went riding in the afternoon. I had forgotten how much I love riding - I'd also forgotten how many muscles it uses that I don't exercise often! But it was so much fun... I got to ride Ramby, who I've never ridden before - and who was exceedingly restless today and spent most of the afternoon testing me to see how much I would let him get away with. He hasn't been ridden for some time, so he was excited about that, but he was definitely trying to tell me I wasn't in charge. He lost, though :D

But ow, I ache!

Reading news: finished Rose Daughter, began Til We Have Faces. Have never been able quite to figure out that title, but I love the book. More good ones waiting at the library, to be picked up Tuesday... a book of Suzanna Clarke short stories to be read before Tuesday, when it's due back... HP7, if I can find it (someone walked off with it the other day...) so no lack of reading material!

...I washed and brushed the dog. She looks and smells so much better! I love her when she's freshly brushed... she's just a little ball of fluff on legs :) So cute!

Also I worked on my dress for the ball next week. It makes me think of mermaids right now... the fabric is "aquamarine", which here means a bright green with just enough blue in it that I can wear it - and it shimmers! This, combined with a fairly slim-fitted pattern, suggests water and mermaids... I love it. Probably when the black beads and trim are on it this comparison won't work anymore, but right now it does. And it's progressing well enough that I shouldn't have to be hemming it an hour before the dance starts this year! :D

My first week home... full of less sleep than I would have liked, time-consuming projects and lots of flowers.

I planted my garden on Friday... here's a healthy young tomato plant.




I think this should be Katie's signature flower - a double impatiens.




Job applications... made more palatable by good tea in lovely cups.




There would have been more photos, perhaps, but they wouldn't cooperate.

Yesterday the Shakespeare picnic, complete with good food, good company, Red Rover and a wonderful version of Love's Labours Lost. Today, the church picnic; ditto the food and company, but with swings and a hymn-sing instead of Red Rover! Afterwards, a relaxing afternoon on the deck with a book (Robin McKinley's Rose Daughter and the dog.... just lovely.